*a charmed life*

I recently had a conversation with my Grammie Nancy.  She is very wise, my Grammie. Her words are simple and matter of fact.. so sometimes I don't realize the effect they have on me until my brain has time to digest them fully. And lately my brain has been stuffed full of shallow and trivial things like, "Ew I need to change the diaper genie because I keep smelling poop in every room of the house." And, "Oh my gosh! Christian just made a new expression (this happens 18 times a day) so I HAVE to instagram/facebook/tweet a picture of it."  Stuff like that.  So anyway, these lightening bolt thoughts that have resulted from conversations with my Grammie will pop up randomly and usually at inopportune times that don't allow me to fully indulge myself in the the awesomeness of them.  So naturally I will have to pull over on the freeway and hurry and regurgitate my jumbled think-lings onto a used napkin to ensure that this life changing realization isn't lost forever. 

So this certain story my Grammie shared with me has had an above mentioned effect. Years ago she and my Grandfather lived in Texas. He had finished medical school and was finally in his residency. (And finally making money, I imagine.) They had just purchased their very first home in San Antonio and were new parents to an adorable little girl. (My mother of course..where did you think all my adorableness came from huh?) One weekend night they took a family trip to the River Walk in downtown San Antonio. The River Walk is a charming little outside mall that surrounds the San Antonio river.   ( I have actually been and HIGHLY recommend making it a part of your trip if you ever find yourself in San Antonio. It's fabulous.) Back to the story. Grammie, Grandpa and my Mom together in a paddle boat on the River Walk on a perfect summer night.  Grammie Nancy looked over at my Grandpa, and then at my Mom and thought to herself, "I am completely content with my life." 

As she told me, she smiled at this memory, as did I.  It was a perfectly captured moment that I could easily see in my mind.

And I can totally understand her thought. In THAT moment, everything was perfectly content. And considering the circumstances, she had "arrived."  But now, 50-something years later with 7 kids, 45 grand kids, a successful career retired of, numerous experiences good and bad, moments of trials and triumphs, I am sure she wouldn't be able to begin to count the number of times she thought.."I am perfectly content with my life." And I'm sure she continues to think this. Cuz she is delightfully positive like that.  

And here are the used-napkin-jumbled-thoughts: 

My life is full of moments where I think.."when xyz happens...THEN I will be happy. THEN I will have finally "arrived." But "arriving" is an obscure word that I have over and over come to realize I don't really believe in. 

2012 has been a really great one for us.  I graduated college, we have had success in our jobs, felt financially stable for the first time, have had numerous joyful events in our extended family and bought our first home that we absolutely love.  Of course, these all shy in comparison to being first time parents. Christian fills every part of our hearts. Mitch and I frequently look at each other and either laugh or cry at the joy that little boy brings us. There is nothing like it. I too, like Grammie, have had moments of reflection where I find myself perfectly content. But admittedly, I have also had moments of thinking..well I haven't quite arrived yet...I could be more happy if only this... etc etc. How crazy of me to have those gosh stinking thoughts!  Last year, when I was a billion and half months pregnant, a billion and a half pounds heavier, a billion and half dollars in debt, living in a 500 square foot apartment, away from husband and had hours and hours of studying to do so that I could pass all the required dental hygiene tests...I would have KILLED for the life I have now. And even then, I still had it good. Very good. There aren't enough lifetimes for me to be able to count all my blessings. EVEN in the worst of times.  But silly, stupid me will continue to fight negative thoughts that I should and could be more happy if only...

 I honestly believe that being the very happiest you could possibly be is only one small thought away. One small choice away. One small change of your mindset, away. 

So if you have gathered anything from my rambling, it should be that. Bloom where you're planted. Come what may and love it. And realize that no matter where you are in life, you live a charmed life. I know I do. 

*Baby Baby Baby*

*I have seriously proved myself to be the worlds worst blogger. And I have so many important things to blog! So I shall try to be as organized as possible..*

1. The Birth Story

I was barely huge.

* The Dr told me at my last appointment that I was probably going to go early. Big

mistake. I was in the middle of taking all the biggest tests of my life so I was already stressed big time. Of course as soon as I took the last test, (thankfully I passed them all and now have my hygiene license. yay!) I was ready for baby to come out. Didn't quite pan out that way and I had to wait THREE more weeks until I could get induced. So Jan. 3rd. we got to St Lukes Hospital in Boise at 7 am. They immediately started me on Pitocin for a few hours. The contractions started right away but seemed bearable. Dr. C came in, checked me and broke my water. Once my water was broke it was a whole different story. These contractions were BAD. Like the insides of guts were shattering. The nurses wanted me to walk around while and try and bring the baby down. We would walk about 2 minutes and then I would lean against the wall in just straight anguish as a contraction would come on. Finally after 3 hours, I decided that enough was enough and I needed an epidural! The Anesthesiologist finally made his appearance 35 minutes later and gave me an epidural. It was blissful to watch the contraction on the monitor peak all the way up and for me to not feel a thing! Finally a few hours later we were ready to start pushing. I pushed in every angle, way and position I knew how. This baby was stuck! I had been pushing for almost 2 hours when I just looked at her at one point and started to cry and said "Mom I can't do this! She then reassured me that I could and I would. Finally after 2 and a half hours of pushing, Christian James made his appearance! All 8 pounds 11 ounces of him! I was so relieved because I though seriously they were going to have to do a C- Section with him. He was laid right on my chest and I instantly fell madly in love with him! And it has been that was ever since.

2. After Birth Story:

The past 2 and half months have been such roller coaster. Figuring out the whole parenting thing can be emotionally draining. With that said, it is seriously the most wonderful thing I have ever done. Mitch and I are so in love with Christian James Miller. He has brought more meaning to our life than we knew we needed. He makes me able to feel the Spirit so much more in my life. I feel closer to the Lord through Christians presence. I'm an in love mommy!

*I would be lying if I said there were moments that I wo

ust rock him and bawl. For no known reason. Bawled because I loved him, bawled because I didn't want to ruin him, bawled because I felt fat, bawled because breastfeeding was so hard, bawled because it was no longer just going to be Mitch and me, bawled and bawled. Luckily my amazing parents and husband were there to support me. Even in my craziest moments.

moments. But I know that's normal. And I'm back to my old self again. :)

3. Christian grows up every single day.

This little boy is growing right before our very eyes! Here is a little about Christian:

1. He LOVES cuddling on his dad. (Obviously!)

2. He loves to be very expressive and makes all sorts of funny

faces. I like to capture all these moments and our lives have turned into daily photo shoots. Don't judge non-mothers..one day you'll be the same:)

3. He LOVES to eat. In fact, he eats so much that I seriously can't keep up with the boy! I have to supplement formula everyday. It makes me sad and I keep trying to only breast feed, but

then he is grumpy so I feel like he is starving so I will give him formula after he nurses. I think I gave him a bottle too soon when I went back to work. Dang:( So..needless to say, this boy is a chunk!!

4. He is my very best friend (aside from Mitch) we like to do all so

rts of things together. Walks to the park, lunch with friends, newborn pictures, photo shoots with other babies, etc. He

is my everything now! I can't imagine life without my little buddy!

you guys,

i'm having a baby so soon!

i cannot wait to meet this little nugget.

i'm so stinkin in love with him i can't even stand it.

i just have a couple things to DO before i'm DUE. so i'll make a list.

1. take process of care exam tomorrow

2. take the national written exam in one week

3. find a patient for my clinical boards. (this is not easy. i'm currently bribing someone with 100 buckaroos to get their teeth cleaned. FOR FREE. DURING A RECESSION. WITH NO DENTAL INSURANCE) *i hope somehow he's reading this, that trick.

4. take my anesthesia written exam on Dec 16th

5. take my anesthesia clinical exam also on Dec 16th (thanks to my darling for being my patient. he doesn't even wince when i give him a shot. *but i'm also dang good at giving shots so..*

6. take my clinical boards on Dec 17th

7. pack up our apartment, say peace out to boise and move to utah on Dec 18th.

8. go to new doctors appointment on Dec 19th.

9. move into new place in utah, set up nursery, get baby stuff ready and try to relax or at lest take a shower and brush my hair before baby is due on..

10. Dec 27th.

*Doc tells me to keep my stress to a minimal as to not prematurely pop this little one out.

Easy peezy right?

Riiiiight.

*Lots of prayers and positive energy needed my way! xo

*Baby Bump Travels*

It's been a *delightful summer that we are sad to see go.

*minus the part that Mitch was gone for 5 months.

My bump and I have kept real busy in hopes to pass the time until we could see the baby daddy again.

We took Charlie on his first boating trip. He kind of loved it.

We jogged/walked a 5k while cute Ellie and Macy strolled.

(Matthew ran the whole way and finished in great time! )

We went to a family reunion in Colorado and had the best time just hanging with family and learning where Great Grandpa Dyer grew up.

We kept busy at school with lots of projects and studying for tests. We have only ONE semester left and can't hardly wait to graduate in December.

We have the best Boise friends ever that we are really going to miss when we move. We also take school VEERRRYY seriously. ;)

We are about at our 6 month mark and feel bigger everyday! We have much more energy now and have (mostly) forgotten how much fun we DIDN'T have during those first couple months.

We finally got to reunite with our favorite person in the entire world and life is good.

:)

*a baby bumpy and feeling frumpy*

I have some news since my last post...

it starts with an.. I'm and ends with a.. pregnant!

I found out in May while visiting Mitch in Georgia.

If you are a Full House lover like myself then you remember the episode where Becky tries to tell Jesse she is pregnant at dinner.

I kinda love Becky, so I stole the idea and made Mitch a baby themed dinner.

*BABY corn, BABY backribs, BABY potatoes...*

(He didn't get it.)

So I told him to go into the bathroom and look on the counter.

(Where the P test was.)

He came out of the bathroom looking quite shocked and said..(and I quote EXACTLY)

"Wait...what?...is this yours? How? From..(ahem)...last night?"

Oh wow did I LOL for a long time..

(No sweetheart, I'm 5 weeks pregnant, not 5 hours pregnant)

After his shock wore off he got quite excited and it was a very sweet moment.

Since I'm just your typical cliche Mormon gal wanting to document her pregnancy..here are some highlights from the past 3 months..

*Had my first Dr. appointment and was able to get an ultrasound. The baby looked more like a blob on the screen, but seeing the heartbeat was unreal.

*Felt great for the first month and a half

*Haven't felt so great for the past month and a half

*(but stilll very much in love with this baby despite..)

*Crave bagels and cream cheese and NOTHING else

*No seriously, everything else sounds repulsive to me.

*Have been taking a pharmacology class in school and have now become totally neurotic about everything that could be harmful to the baby. I'm seriously annoying.

*Just your typical emotional wreck that cries at the allstate commercial.

*Have a brain that now only functions at about 13%. Ask me if I tried to take a pan out of the oven with my bare hands because I just simply forgot it would burn me.

*Have had 3 dreams about a cute curly haired boy who looks just like his daddy. (Not saying I know for SURE it's a boy..but I have my gut feeling.)

*Think NUMEROUS times a day about my own Mother and how amazing she is for doing this EIGHT times!

*Say a prayer of thanks every morning and night for being blessed with this little baby who I don't even know but already love.

* I wish I could lie and say I'm one of those girls that just feels beautiful being pregnant..but I do not. I feel like a frump most of the time. Good thing I just wear scrubs all day and have a husband who is 2 thousand miles away..I'll frump around all I want.

*a life lesson*

If you read my facebook you know this:

I'm a full blown Bachelor addict.

Last night I got together with some girls in my ward.

To watch the Bachelor finale of course.

One of the girls was my visiting teachee.

I told her by the end of the night I would come up with a good lesson.

(so that we can check off visiting teaching for March)

........

It wasn't even hard.

Let this be a lesson to you ladies:

Classy always beats Trashy.

Love you Em.

*bad idea*

After our prayers were said,

and our scriptures were read,

and little Charlie was tucked in bed..

(ha! such a good poet am I)

Mitch and I started looking at some old pics.

We came across our honeymoon album.

Sun-bathing. Zip-lining.

Parasailing. 24 hour buffet-ing.

Staying up. Sleeping in.

(and much more tanned, toned and skinnier versions of ourselves.)

best.trip.ever.

We started to get a little depressed.

*Boise is great, but it aint a cruise to Mexico.